We all have experienced things in our lives that never were truly us, but something projected and accepted of who we actually are.
Growing up, I often lived in the shadow of my older sister. Because I was different, I was often made to feel less capable, less intelligent, and less significant.
My voice was dismissed, my opinions were brushed aside, and I was often labeled as “silly” or “stupid.” Over time, I began to believe that version of me. I was slowly losing my voice and my true nature and being programmed into a different version of myself. I constantly heard, “oh Nancy, your so stupid, or that’s just who Nancy is”, “ she’s so silly”. I became the laughing joke in other people’s stories. One thing that I see when reflecting back is the fact that I often took the role on of being stupid and silly, thinking that is what people expected of me therefore that is who I must be. I became the family entertainer, the jokester and later in life would still be seen as such in people’s eyes.
To this day I still get “ oh that’s just Nancy being Nancy” from some of the people who helped program me. They do not take the time to understand the true version of myself nor do they care as the thought that I have actually grown and am very comfortable with who I truly am. That very act of doing that will also instill fear on others, many do not want to shine the spotlight on themselves and actually see how they have been running all these years.
You see having gone through those experiences and being able to awaken to the truth has unveiled my true self and what I learned is that people often looked to me as an escape of who they were. I was a constant trigger to many, I often got asked “ why are you so happy”. People never understood that no matter what they threw at me my true soul would always shine through. I love to love, and put good energy into this world. It doesn’t matter what people think of me, in the end that is there perception. The freedom to walk this world not acting to validate others or make others feel comfortable is the path to authorship.
Human beings often do not become who they are.
They become who they are repeatedly reflected to be.
When a role is reinforced long enough, even through humor or dismissal, it becomes an identity.
But identity is not truth — it is conditioning.
And anything that is conditioned can be unconditioned.